


Fight it Away

by every1isgay



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fear, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heaven's Arena Arc (Hunter X Hunter), Hopeful Ending, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Love, M/M, Minor Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Missing Scene, One Shot, POV Killua Zoldyck, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Relationship, Protective Killua Zoldyck, Sad, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 19:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20822252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/every1isgay/pseuds/every1isgay
Summary: Set during the Heaven’s Arena arc after Gon's first fight with Gido.Killua is not happy with Gon. He's stupid and dumb and Killua would have killed him himself if he wasn't so damn angry with Gon. But his anger isn't the only emotion he is grappling with and that's much more complicated, so he'll, instead, focus on his fury. It's what he's good at.





	Fight it Away

**Author's Note:**

> written by Emery

The idiot.

Killua storms down the hallway to Gon's room, furious. How could he be so  _ stupid _ !? With far more force than he was intending, Killua slams the door open to reveal his friend bandaged up, sitting happily in his bed. Gon waves. Like the idiot he is.

“Why did you keep fighting!?” Killua demands. “You could have gotten yourself killed!”

“Hi Killua,” Gon says as a way of answering.

Killua frowns. “You should have stopped as soon as -”

“Did you see how fast Gido's tops were? I nearly dodged them all once I figured out he doesn't control them directly. It was actually-”

“Shut up! Gon, you could have DIED! Do you realize that? Look at you!” Killua gestures to Gon's body, all wrapped up and splinted. “Did I hear correctly from the doctor, eleven cracks in your ribs?”

“Twelve actually,” Gon answers with a smile.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. And your arm… It's going to take four months at least for you to heal, she said. You can't train, you can't practice, you have only delayed your fight with Hisoka even more. What were you thinking?”

Gon smiles, using his uninjured hand to scratch the back of his head, the way he always does. This reminds Killua of his innocence. “I  _ was _ training, Killua, did you see me use Zetsu?”

Killua slaps his forehead. “Moron,” he mutters. But he is impressed, because even though Wing had just started their training in Nen, Gon was taking to it much faster than Killua would have guessed. Just like in the Hunter Exam, Gon still surprises Killua with his perseverance and determination. He's so eager to learn, try new things, and take risks. He's… well he's something, but right now Killua chooses to focus on his ignorance.

“You can't train for four months, Gon. You need to heal.” 

Just as Killua is gearing up for another lecture, Wing comes into the room, angry as well. He repeats what Killua has told Gon, but also shares how impressed he is. Wing seems just as relieved that Gon is alive as he is angry with how the fight played out. Killua understands more than anyone how lucky Gon is to still be here in (mostly) one piece.

Killua watches the interaction between his friend and their master, noting that Gon seems to finally start to understand the gravity of the situation. They may have come to Heaven's Arena to make money, but now that they know this is where Hisoka is, well, it's more pertinent than ever that Gon stays well enough to learn Nen and defeat that lunatic once and for all.

Thankfully, Gon makes a promise to Wing: he will not train or fight for two months. Killua may have lied when Wing asked how long it would take for Gon to fully recover. As mad as Killua is, he knows Gon will push himself anyway. But more importantly, Killua knows Gon is stronger than anyone gives him credit for. Himself included. Wing doesn't need to know exactly what the doctor said, because Gon  _ will _ be fine in two months. Gon won't give in to a few injuries. Nothing will stop him. So Killua does his friend a favor, and tells their master that the doctor said it would only take two months. They can't wait much longer anyway.

Before Wing leaves the room, he ties a promise band around Gon's pinky to ensure the boy keeps his word. No training. No Nen. No fighting. The man finally leaves the two boys alone and Killua falls to the bed beside his friend. “Well. At least you're alive, I suppose.”

Gon's laugh fills the room, and Killua is showered with the light the other boy brings. It's probably the only thing that scares Killua, besides his brother. Gon's untainted purity and joy. It's the only thing keeping Killua going right now; he doesn't know where he would be if it weren't for Gon. Probably still chained up in his mansion, being tortured by his mother, waiting for his fate to either die or become the assassin his family wanted him to become.

Well maybe not dead. He  _ can _ handle himself after all. But. Well. He's not sure he would have let himself stay alive if he hadn't met Gon during the Hunter Exam.

Killua is brought back to the moment when Gon settles further into the bed, effectively snuggling up beside Killua. 

It gives the light-haired boy pause.

Gon is affectionate, Killua knows that. The dark-haired boy from Whale Island has no idea what typical social norms entail. But sometimes Killua is certain Gon is pushing boundaries on purpose.

It's not like Killua himself knows what to do with a friend. Gon is the only one he's had. But he thinks maybe they are not supposed to act like  _ this:  _ in bed together. Close.

“Hey, Gon, do you want me to order some food for us?” Killua asks, sitting up. 

Gon’s eyes are closed as he shakes his head ‘no’.

Those damn eyes.

Sometimes those brown eyes can say more words than any human could say in a lifetime. However, Gon's boyish features always tell exactly how he feels. Now, even though his eyes are shut, Killua can still read him.

Killua sighs as he stands up.

“Don't leave yet!” Gon insists, suddenly alert.

Placing his hands on the back of his own head, Killua answers casually, “You need to rest.”

Gon shakes his head again. “I don't want you to leave. Not yet. I like it when you're here.”

Killua nods.

He likes it here too.

Back home, in the Zoldyck estate, it was unheard of for the family to be together unless they were training or being conditioned. Killua got used to being alone. He thought that's how life was meant to be. But once he was able to get away, see the world, meet Gon… well, now he understands why humans crave affection. Killua feels empty when he's not by Gon's side. He has hated the nights he's slept in his own hotel room, away from his friend. Since the start of the Hunter Exam, Killua has grown accustomed to the soft, even breathing of another human by his side. 

Alone, he has only himself and his memories of his cold, empty room at the estate.

He hates it.

“I'll stay,” Killua agrees. “But I'm ordering food, because I'm hungry, and you should eat too.”

Gon nods. “Okay. As long as you're here.”

Killua rolls his eyes as he goes to the hotel phone. He absolutely despises it when Gon is sweet like this. There is no way Killua knows how to return the affection. Since birth he has been trained to become one thing, and one thing only: an assassin. That's his purpose. He was never meant to have friends. To have feelings. To love or be loved. He was made to kill. How could he ever return such emotions for Gon? He hasn't the faintest clue how he's supposed to act.

After Killua orders food, he sits back on the bed, but he is sure to leave space between them. It's too much when Gon is like this. He can handle the teasing and the play fighting, but when Gon gets serious, it's harder to navigate the situation.

If they aren't talking strategy, Killua has nothing to offer in the way of conversation. All he knows is how to plan a clean kill.

Yet Gon goes on like nothing is out of place. He treats Killua like a human, listens and never judges. When Killua had first told Gon that he came from a family of assassins, Gon didn't even bat an eye. He just accepted it because it was part of his friend.

Friend.

_ ‘I want to be friends with Gon!’  _ his own voice sounds in his head. The words he shouted to his brother last time they fought. It was true. That was the only answer he could give. It's Killua’s only desire. He hasn't figured out what else he  _ should  _ live for.

The night creeps along slowly. Gon sleeps after dinner, but is up only a half hour later. He talks Killua's ear off about Whale Island and his Aunt Mito. He tells stories of an innocent childhood, happy and carefree. Sure, his father abandoned him, but his grandmother and his aunt were there for him in ways Killua could have never  _ dreamed  _ of.

That night, Killua slips into the bed beside his friend, not wanting to feel the chill of the night. Or the chill of isolation. Inebriated by sleepiness, Killua settles in beside Gon, the way the other boy had earlier in the day. He breathes quietly into the dark, huddled underneath the covers. Then Gon drapes his good arm around Killua, humming in contentment. But Killua doesn't pull away. No. He moves closer. He doesn't care if this isn't the way friends behave. It's how  _ they _ behave. Because they are both lost in this world. Alone. Together. Everything makes that much more sense when they are together. And in the silence of the night, Killua can feel safe here. In Gon's arms.

Arms that make him feel wanted. Make him feel something he's never experienced before: love.

**Author's Note:**

> These two boys. I just HAD to write something to keep my heart together. Killua’s so broken and loves Gon so much. Ugh. Anyway, hope it wasn't too angsty, or it was just angsty enough. This is my first fic in this fandom. Hope you liked it.


End file.
